Anticipation

My WW week started today and I am already -7 weeklies in. This does not include the 8 oz of Kombucha I allow myself per day, nor does it include the olives I had with breakfast. [I feel WW has come a long way with the Freestyle Program and its Zero Point food list, but I also feel that it needs a few Zero Point foods that are a good source of healthy fats. I do not count points for olives or avocado, but this is a personal decision.]

Sunday is generally a “me” day. I go to WW in the morning, then rush to church. After, it’s not unusual for me to spend a few hours at Starbucks with an iced tea, my laptop, a loom knitting project, a deck of cards, and a banana-shaped pouch full of Scrabble tiles.

That was the plan for this afternoon. I packed some Fage Total 5% Greek Yogurt in my lunchbox and stopped at the store after church to pick up a $5 prewashed snack pack of berries from the pre-cut fruit section.

When I got to the store, however, it was a few hours after breakfast and I was starting to feel a little hungry. I was already planning an extended Starbucks visit; I hadn’t considered dinner.

I had a few things in mind:

  1. I was having something sweet and creamy for lunch, so later, I’d proably want something cruncy and salty.
  2. I had a few transactions to make to earn bonus stars at Starbucks; I could fulfill one of those transactions by getting a salami and cheese tray.
  3. I didn’t want to be afraid to buy and eat any food item.

So, I purchased a bag of chips primarily because I made an assumption that I would want something crunchy and salty.

I ate my yogurt and the salami/cheese at 1:30pm. At 5pm,I wasn’t remotely hungry. My predictions were wrong; I didn’t want those chips at all.

Yet, despite not really wanting any and not being hungry, I still ate most of the bag and impulse-bought a sausage biscuit sandwich.

Do I regret it?

I have made the concious decision not to beat myself up over food decisions that I make. There is no point to living in guilt because I over-indulged a little.

That being said, I think I need to remember that I cannot judge what future Lissa will want to eat. I may need to pack meals the night before  an outing, but I don’t pack my lunch with the expectation that I will desire a specific flavor profile. It’s often based more on availabilty, convienience, and whether or not I will have access to a microwave. (I also prefer to have a little variety in my meals or pack an extra snack or two that I can swap out. For example, I may pack two different kinds of fruit so I can decide at that meal if a banana or an orange sounds better).

I also need to stop feeding into the guilt of the clock. There are going to be days where I won’t be hungry hours after eating a meal. If I’m not hungry, I don’t need to eat.

I did avoid the temptation this weekend to earn bonus stars by purchasing three Frappucinos. I also found out that without intentionally measuring the honey used on my yogurt (I weighed the jar before and after), I only used 3 points worth of honey. It was still a 14 point bowl of yogurt, but it was an incredibly satisfying meal.

In retrospect, the food I purchased impulsively was completely unneccessary. I could have purchased the salami and cheese plate later if I was hungry; there was no need to buy it upon arrival. I also didn’t really want or need the chips despite my prediction; I believe a snack pack of pistachios or a bag of Laiki crackers would have been far more satisfying.

Perhaps, I will make the decision to buy the nuts or crackers next time, or maybe I won’t buy anything at all. Instead, I’ll wait and see what my body is asking me to provide it.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s